HOME › HOW TO SAY IT

How to give critical feedback in an email

In writing, the sandwich does not work. The reader eats the bread and misses the filling.

The situation

You have to tell someone their work is not good enough, and you are writing it rather than saying it. Written criticism has no tone of voice to soften it and no chance to read the room mid-sentence.

What works is specificity, a clear standard, and a route to fixing it. Vagueness intended as kindness lands as a cloud the person cannot act on.

Why it is hard

The praise-criticism-praise structure survives in speech because delivery marks which part carries the weight. On the page every sentence carries equal weight, so the reader — motivated to hear the kinder reading — takes the praise as the message and the criticism as a caveat. Naming the specific gap against a specific standard removes the ambiguity the sandwich creates.

What to actually write

Two versions of the same message. Same facts, different posture — which one is right depends on the relationship, not on which is “better”.

THE FACILITATORSomeone you manage, first conversation

Subject: The Halden deck — a rework before Thursday

Hi Marcus,

The Halden deck needs another pass before Thursday, and I want to be specific about what.

The analysis is solid. What is missing is the recommendation — slides 8 to 14 walk through the options but never say which one we think they should pick, and that is the thing Dana will be looking for.

Can you add a recommendation slide up front and cut two of the options? Happy to look at a draft tomorrow if that helps.

— Sam

THE EXECUTIVEPeer or a repeat issue

Subject: Halden deck — needs a recommendation

Hi Marcus,

The deck does not make a recommendation. Slides 8 to 14 present four options and stop.

Dana needs to know what we think she should do. Please add a recommendation slide at the front and cut it to two options.

Thursday is the deadline — send me a draft tomorrow if you want a look first.

— Sam

What to avoid

"Just my two cents." If it needs acting on, do not label it optional.
"Some people have noticed..." Anonymous sourcing turns feedback into a rumour.
Saving it all for the review. Feedback delivered late is heard as a case being built.

Common questions

Should hard feedback be email at all?

Anything about performance or conduct is better in person. Email suits specific, work-product feedback where a written record helps them act on it.

How do I avoid sounding harsh?

Be precise rather than gentle. A clear gap and a clear route out reads as respect; vagueness reads as disappointment.